Paromita Bardoloi
Heartwarming Words from Paromita Bardoloi who is a woman of words and made an impact using them.
“Words and ideas can change the world.” is a famous quote by John Keats which makes us believe in the power of words. The famous poets and writers describe words as something that can destroy kingdoms or something that can build a new world of peace and hope.
Today, we are going to hear the story of one individual who understood the power of words and ideas through her journey. She rightly used the power of words and helped many people through her listening circle and letters. Let’s hear the story of Paromita Bardoloi.
Paromita Bardoloi ‘s Childhood
I was born in a small town in India, called Rupai. When I was growing up in the 90s, the town had little or no connection with the outside world. It was a quiet and serene place, untouched by the outer world noise. I lived in that town with my father, mother, and 3 siblings. My father was a lawyer, and my mother worked as an Economics professor at a college.
When I was ten years old, my dad passed away in a car accident. As a child, I didn’t know what was happening around me. Everything changed suddenly, especially people and their perspectives towards us. I wasn’t aware of the situation. I didn’t know how to react to such a huge loss. My father was a heroic figure in my life. His absence created a vacuum and left a profound impact on my conscience.
Paromita Bardoloi’s Cope with Loss
It was hard for us to cope with day-to-day life but my mother stood extremely strong. She did everything to fill that hole in her children’s lives. She never compromised with our education, no matter how hard the situation would turn for her.
Her job wasn’t enough to bring everything together. She even ran a firm that our father left behind. Growing up around such strong women made me an empathetic person. I got a chance to see a woman struggling to make ends meet without anyone’s support. My mother became my inspiration.
Paromita’s Education
After completing high school, I moved to Delhi. I enrolled in Miranda College for my undergrad degree in literature. Later, I went on to complete my postgraduate degree from Delhi University itself. In between my degrees, I worked as a theater artist. I co-founded a theater group named “Aatish” with a group of friends. The theater group worked mainly on subjects of gender, performing in many places.
After being a theater performer for seven years I was looking for something else. Until then, everything was going great in my life. I got promotions and was featured in many places. My theater group also performed well. However, I was dealing with a breakup that affected my life negatively. It had pushed me into a dark hole that had swallowed my energy and happiness. I wouldn’t want to get up and leave my bed. I had lost interest in everything around me. I’d postpone shows, work and lay down in my home all day.
Paromita’s Depression
At first, I thought it was all normal and I would get over it. Later, I realized that the breakup has affected me badly. I went to a therapist to understand what was happening. That’s when I came to know that I have been suffering from depression.
I started going to therapy regularly. Therapy is not a one-day process but a journey. From that point, the journey has been a long road of discovery, realization, and self-love.
While visiting my therapist and battling depression, I wrote letters to my friends and myself. The writing felt therapeutic to me, and it has been proven in many types of research and surveys.
Luckily, I had friends who stood there for me. Whenever I wrote them letters, they wrote back to me. Whenever I told them how depressed and low I was feeling, they’d put energy in me through their words.
Heartwarming Words – Paromita Bardoloi
Thanks to those letters from my friends, I began to regain my self-confidence. My mental health improved with time.
This experience made me understand that many people struggle with mental health but not everyone is fortunate enough. I had the resources to access a therapist while many lacked the privilege of consulting a doctor.
My friends and family supported me at my rock bottom and wrote back to me. But many people don’t have such nonjudgmental and understanding people in their lives. I also experienced the power of words and letters and I wanted to do something to make it better for people.
Letter From A Stranger
In March 2019, I got the idea of creating a safe space for people. It was like five friends writing to five friends about their life, happiness, and pain. In the first attempt, thirty women signed up for it. And that’s when, “Letter From A Stranger, India” came into being. The thirty women soon became three hundred women. With time our circle grew, and more writers joined us. We also conducted a special session for the sex workers. The letter idea also developed with time. Right now, we have almost 400 registered writers and 1500 letters sent across the world. We have written to volunteers in Muscat. We are also in touch with a café in Islamabad. Our writers are constantly increasing, and more people are joining us with each passing day.
In 2020, when the lockdown happened, I started “Let’s Huddle India” where everyone sat online to talk and listen to each other.
There was no main speaker in the circle as everyone spoke freely without the fear of being judged. Each session is called a circle and we are at our 64th circle.
Letter writing and formatting is a huge process that requires time, thought process, and energy. The essential part of letter writing is that the writer can comfort and understand the receiver. That’s why there are experienced writers who do the work.
The Power of Heartwarming Words
A recently divorced woman, a father of a specially-abled child, a young woman who lost her husband, a student struggling with career choices – these are the kinds of letter requests that come to us. While replying, our goal is to avoid triggering words and focus on the comfort of the readers.
We have also received suicidal letters as well and while responding we add a list of helpline numbers and ask them to talk to these people. I know that letters and words may not be enough for someone going through a mental health trauma. But they do help a lot in a lot of other cases. You can see it as emotional support and an effort to tell people that they do matter.
People need someone who can hear them out and address their problems and that’s what we try to do.
Heartwarming Words – Paromita Bardoloi ‘s Books
I also wrote a book launched on Kindle titled “The Swan That Flew”. It is a book about a black swan who was rejected and humiliated, who finds hope in a new school. Currently, I am planning to publish two more books. One is a compilation of 51 healing notes to all women that I learned during my dark phase. The other is a work in progress, but I am hoping to complete it by June or July of this year. I am very excited about the upcoming projects.
To conclude, I am Paromita Bardoloi and I know the power of heartwarming words. I want to say “Live life because you matter. On some days it may look like it’s not worth it but don’t give up. If things have the potential of getting dark, they also have the potential of getting better. You just have to take a step ahead and complete your story.”
Authored by Aashna Chawla
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