A friend of mine just told me a story that reflects on how societies perceive human beings and relationships. I thought sharing the story with you could be meaningful and eye-opening. You might not get the cultural details, but you will get the idea of how women’s objectification work.
A friend of mine called me a couple of months ago, precisely on my birthday. let’s name that friend Y.
Y: Hey how are you doing? can you please tell me your weight and height?
Me: 170 cm tall, and I weigh 70 kg.
(This weird request brought nothing to my mind except that Y is trying to get me some clothes as my birthday gift 😉 yaay!).
Y hung up and then called after some time.
Y: Hey again! Can you please send me a picture of you? The thing is I just met Mrs. X and I learned from her that she has a divorced son. The son is now looking for a wife with certain specifications: divorced, no kids, unveiled, not fat, and above all, pretty. Honestly, I offered her many other girls but the mother didn’t like any of them. She says that they don’t match her son’s criteria. So, I thought maybe you could give it a shot!
Me: (after a little bit of thinking) Okay fine, show him my picture and let me know if it works out.
Y: Hey! He liked your pic!
Me: Okay so, he asked for a divorced woman so it can be a low-budget marriage (according to some traditions in some ME communities), so let me teach this guy a lesson but first give me some more information about him.
Y: He is 51 years old, a sound engineer, and has a son and a daughter in high school.
Me: Great! Please put his mother on the phone so I can let her know that I am not interested in her son. I wanted a tall man that I can confidently put on heels while walking next to, oh and I also wanted a young man that still has the energy to have fun, travel, and hang out with me… Oh and definitely with no kids!
The furious mother to Y: What? She is not interested in my son and thinks he is shorter than her? How old is she?
Y: 49 years, but she looks much younger!
Me adding: And I do have my well-paying job, I don’t need a man to spend a penny on me and I don’t need an old bull to annoy me with his troubles. I have the right to choose what I want too.
The furious mother hung up in shock and me and my friend celebrated the victory!
A sad short story of a man trying to find a partner to share every moment and enjoy life with, in such a horribly humiliating way. I wonder how can a man not only still involves his mother to find him a potential wife, but also has unrealistic superficial requests, to have a normal healthy married life or raise good kids.
How does Women’s Objectification work?
Looking at women as objects displayed in a showroom is very cruel and inconsiderate. Although this has been the case since the dawn of time, the world has changed and such stories should be ancient history.
In fact, women have the biggest share in building societies. Being a mother, a wife, a daughter, a leader and many more roles leave women no inferior to men. Limiting women’s worth to having a nice figure, a pretty face and confined needs are practices that still exist in many societies. Unfortunately, the value of a woman is still assessed on gender-based measures with no regard to her core values, needs, and characteristics as a human being.
I really admired my friend for her reaction to this shocking story and I like how she kept her self-esteem high, and never let a “my chances are weak” kind of frustration get to her.
That story might be showing only one shape of objectification of women but there are many other shapes and colors for it. We encourage every girl and every woman to never give up on herself, keep her confidence high and never fall into the trap of having fewer chances, being not good enough or any other feeling that could limit her dreams or push her into an undesired path.
Authored by Yasmine Deraz
Edited by Yara Fakhoury
“Fujn fuses learning with earning in a fun way. Fujn is made by women for women. Ladies, dare to reimagine your possibilities! Check us out at www.Fujn.us, Fusion spelled F. U. J. N.”